How to Build Trust with Yourself

In February of 2022 I decided to embark on a challenge - 365 days of art-making. The goal was to spend at least 15 intentional minutes per day in the creative process. I’m proud to say that I’ve made it to day 309. One of my main motivators for taking on this challenge: building self-trust.

If you’d rather watch than read (and also see my oil painting process), check out the YouTube video here.

Self-trust, in my opinion, is one of the most important characteristics to build for our own success. It is absolutely critical. There are so many reasons that trust with ourselves may have broken over time, but what I really want to stress here is that regardless of how you’ve gotten to this place of distrust, it is absolutely possible and worthwhile to rebuild that trust.

When I first started to ask myself this question of “Do I trust myself?” I thought “well, of course I trust myself - it’s me! It would be silly not to.” But then I noticed the way that I would speak to myself in my head. These little whispers of negativity that told me things like “you should just give up” “you’ve never done that before, so what makes you think you can do it now?” “You’re too emotional to make this work.” And as these little voices came into my awareness I realized that in some ways and in particular areas of my life, I really didn’t trust myself thoroughly. I didn’t trust myself to become a skilled, professional, paid artist. I didn’t trust myself to stay committed to projects, visions, and goals. Basically, I didn’t trust myself to become the person that I wanted to be. I didn’t fully trust that I was capable. 

I say “fully” because there were certainly parts of me that did trust myself and ultimately those are the voices that I followed to get me to where I am today. And if you’re in need of a little encouragement, or if you too have those pesky little voices in your head telling you that you can’t, I hope I can spark that other little voice in your head saying “Oh YES I CAN!”

“Watch Me”

There’s this sassy little girl in me who when someone tells her that she can’t do something, she rolls her eyes and says “oh yeah? …watch me.”

There’s a phrase I’ve heard a lot of people say as a means of defending themselves that goes something like, “I don’t need to prove myself to you.” But I feel like this is kind of a cop-out, a way to get out of doing the self-work. When it comes to building trust with ourselves (and with others for that matter), sometimes we really do have to prove ourselves. Like, if we’ve consistently been an asshole to our partner or close friend, they’re probably going to view us as an asshole. And if you don’t want to be seen as an asshole, you’re going to have to prove that you’re not by making an effort to be kinder. In my case, if I wanted to see myself as a skillful, professional artist, I knew I would have to take my art more seriously and put a real effort into growing my skills. For me, this looks like showing up to the creative process every day - even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Thus began my year long art challenge and a year of proving to myself that I can do this - simply by doing it.

Keep Promises

One way to bring ourselves the proof that we need is to keep our promises. This is one of the biggest ways that I’ve been able to build trust with myself. If you’re someone who tells yourself that you’re going to do something and you consistently don’t do those things, you are ruining trust with yourself. We can build trust by following through, by “walking the talk.” So if you say you’re going to cultivate a daily movement practice, do it. If you say you’re going to make art every day, do it. And if you’re struggling to meet your own goals, get really honest with yourself about what is realistic and set goals that you know are achievable. 

Listen to Yourself

Of course, making art for hours every day is ideal for someone, like myself, who wants to be a full-time artist, but I was starting from a place of inconsistency and wishy-washiness so I knew that hours every day would probably be too large of a change for me to keep up with. So I set my goal for 15 minutes. I knew that no matter what I had going on in a day, I could likely find 15 minutes to create. After keeping up with this habit for over 300 days, hours every day doesn’t seem so unachievable but in the beginning it probably would have led to me quitting. Listening and being honest with myself in this way has helped build trust. Of course I can go into anything with the confidence of that sassy little girl saying “watch me.” But I also need to be grounded and realistic in my approach if I actually want to achieve my goals. That starts with listening to my own concerns, fears, doubts, and taking them into consideration when setting my goals. If I know that my ultimate goal of being a full-time artist is going to require a huge mindset shift from where I’m at currently, I’ll set a smaller goal that requires a smaller mindset shift. Baby steps.

Embody Authenticity

Before setting any goals at all though, it’s important to know who you really are and what you really wnat. One way that I’m currently getting to know myself is through painting self-portraits. The first archetype I chose to paint is The Maiden. She’s the archetype I’ve identified most with throughout my life. But I’m ready and excited to explore different parts of my personality and to try them on in the studio. I’ve found that the deeper the connection I feel with myself, the more confident I feel in showing up as her in the world, and the more I trust my inner voice to guide me. It’s helpful to think of the relationship we have with ourselves as we would any close relationship. It’s important to spend time getting to know each other, sharing intimacy and vulnerability in order to forge a deep bond and cultivate trust. 

I often hear people talking about how if we want to manifest our dreams in this lifetime, we have to trust that the Universe/God is on our side… and I’ve tried that. Where it led me was to realize that I have to trust my own inner guidance to lead me to my dreams before I can trust anything outside of myself to meet me there. 

I’d love to know in the comments what your journey with self-trust has looked like. As always, thank you for being here on this little corner of the internet with me. I hope to connect with you all again soon.

Inspired but not sure where to begin with your creative journey? Check out my one-to-one creative mentorship offering, and book a discovery call.