Skin, Deep.

“Skin, Deep”, 20” x 24” acrylic on canvas, 2022

When our goal is to live our most fulfilling, abundant, blissful life, “doing the work” sometimes means allowing ourselves to actually not do much at all, and instead allowing ourselves to enjoy the simple pleasures of existence. Like the sight of wildflowers, the dirt beneath our feet, and the feeling of the sunshine on our skin.

Not only are these simple pleasures important for our health and overall well-being, our very existence is dependent upon them. Our brains are neurochemically attracted to the things that bring us pleasure: food, sex, connection. 

Unfortunately these simple pleasures are often contorted, denied, taken for granted, or made shameful, leading us into complicated relationships around these topics. Eating disorders, disconnection from sex as something sacred, inability to connect authentically with others… These are all things that have become norms in Western society.

When I started this painting in 2020, I was just beginning to come into a deeper connection with my body and my sensuality. I’m so grateful for the teachers that have shown up in my life with the reminder that all of life is sacred, and most notably, that the skin I am wrapped in is sacred and so much deeper than “skin-deep.” My teachers are many, but Mama Nature is always the biggest. 

Whenever I take time to connect with her; whether it’s through contact with the earth, immersing myself in delicious wholesome food, connecting with my sensuality, or authentically relating with other human beans, I feel immensely blessed and deeply nourished. She reminds me that in order to continue living life fully alive (which is what she wants more than anything), I must steep myself in her pleasures. Mother nature provides so much for us; and she wants to be consumed, recycled, and made into something through our hands… But she wants us to do it with care, reverence, and gratitude - fully recognizing the incredible power and beauty that she is.

When we are in deep gratitude and connection with the earth in this way, co-creating alongside her, there’s no room for taking advantage of her resources. No matter what or who it is, when you are deeply connected with something, you want to treat that connection with the utmost respect so that it can continue to exist, right?

Gratitude is key. And pleasure is a form of gratitude. Personally, I think we could all use a big dose of pleasure; the real, deep, authentic kind of pleasure that can only be achieved through intimacy with ourselves and the world around us.

In order to live and to continue creating life, we must first steep ourselves in pleasure. We must open ourselves to connection, sex, and the fruits of the earth that sustain it all. This pleasure is such an important aspect of creation, whether that’s in the form of creating babies, art, the career of our dreams, or the world’s most delicious sandwich. If you want to be a master at something, anything, you have to enjoy it with your entire being!

Whether it’s because of the culture that we were raised in or getting stuck in the daily grind, it’s all too easy to forget that the very core of our existence, our guiding intuition, nature herself, is asking us to simply embrace the pleasure of this moment. And from that place of deep nourishment, we are able to create SO MUCH MORE than we ever thought possible.

After a year and a half with this painting, much of that time with it sitting untouched in storage, I’ve been so happy to reconnect with it from a place of deeper self-worth and acknowledgement. I love the woman who was brave enough to start this painting almost two years ago, and I absolutely love the woman who didn’t give up on it. I started this painting with the intention of honoring myself, and I believe that I have done that well. I have learned how to honor my body by allowing her to experience the deepest pleasure, without guilt. No matter what I do, no matter what mistakes I make, I am so here for myself. I will always remind myself how much I deserve to be here and to experience joy. We all do, and we cannot truly heal as a species if we cannot learn to forgive ourselves, grant ourselves grace, and keep on showing up in gratitude for the gift of life.

Connecting with my pleasure, my gratitude, has been a huge catalyst for my creativity, and has made life so much deeper and fuller than I had ever imagined, and as such, it is deeply ingrained in my art and my offerings.